finding that time to….

Going back to the previous analogy of peanut butter and a balanced life; there are ways to get the result of a smooth spread, but they involve patience, forethought and as mentioned balance.  Three things that I don’t always have, or at least rarely all at the same time.  These require the ability to step back and calmly survey your environment, plans, goals, priorities and general mess of things in front of you, behind you, and OUCH! Even under your feet. What the heck am I stepping on now?   I strive to have these moments, I really do, but honesty they are few and far between or heavily segmented, spanning several re-heats of one cup of coffee, and often a second.

During the week, after I argue with my multiple alarm clocks, hit snooze buttons 20 + times, my husband buries his head under his pillows, and I manage to get into the shower and have such a moment with a cup of coffee in hand.  But the clock is ticking, so these moments are short, as multiple alarms continue to ring to keep me from losing track of time and being late for work.  Seriously, without alarms going of every 7 – 10 minutes I can often be found just staring off into space lost in thoughts about God knows what, or get so lost in deciding what to wear, or how to style my hair etc… that I completely lose track of time.  My heavily scheduled mornings look something like this

5:45 Am 1st alarm goes off, I’m ripped, violently out of a deep sleep. Fumbling I find my phone, and turn off that infernal noise, ahhh. Quiet. Then another, just minutes later before I can drift back of to…. sipping mia ty’s on the beach with closest friends, surrounded by… Hu? Oh yea, ok, got to think about getting up, but….. mmmm so comfy, just one more zzzzzz…. Dam it!!!! Ok…. I hear you, I’ll get up as soon as I can convince my legs to venture out from the warm comfy-ness of my bed and… Nope, TOO COLD! They’re not moving. They are refusing to come out of hiding. I now must assert control, and pull them out. Ok, here we go. Again the alarm sounds as I pull myself out of bed and stumble to find my bathrobe, and turn on the life giving water of the shower.

It is now 6:10, (on a good day) while I wait for the water to heat up, I make my way to the kitchen to get my much needed 1st cup of coffee, the life brain focusing nectar of the Gods. Our lovingly loud, attention demanding cat PJ (often just called Pee, you can guess why) then decides that it is time for him to get some lovin as he rubs against my ankles, darts back and forth between my legs as I try to walk and flops down on the floor in front of me. I think he wants me to trip over him, and I nearly have several times.

I pull some lunch from the fridge, a drink, a snack, (assuming I remember to). And coffee’s done. Time to get back to the shower. And again here comes PJ with the loud mewing, darting and flopping.  Sadly the carpet bears the consequences of several coffee splatters resulting from multiple attempts to not fall on my face, or the cat, or the pile of Legos, and the shoes or the, oh that’s where my scarf went.

Ahhh made it to the shower, nice and warm….hhhhahhhh … ok a moment for me….. Again an alarm sounds, interrupting my zoning, and the moment is over. OK, what do I need to do today? Will Eddie be able to drive Liam to school this morning? Do I have everything I need to bring to work today? Where did I leave that form I need to fill out for Liam’s services? Got to remember to print those fliers for this weekend’s event. What is the weather going to be like today? Should I wear pants or a skirt, nope need to shave my legs, so pants it is.  Ahhhh, love my homemade sugar scrub. MMMM. I start to drift off again and another alarm, its 6:30, time to brush my face wash my teeth, finish up and get out. Wait, what, oh you know what I mean.

By 6:45, I’m usually dressed, hair thrown up in a mess on top of my head, a splash of colorful eyeshadow has been added, and I’m searching for my shoes, my glasses, that necklace I can fiddle with, and a scarf and I’m wondering where I left my coffee again. Ten till 7 am and the alarm is going again. Hubby is usually up by now, often hobbling around and thankfully not stinking up the bathroom I’m in with his morning…. Um, business.

Time to wake Liam up. Like me, he wakes up slowly, and does not like to be woken up. Quietly as I slip through his door. “Good morning sleepy head” The blob of fuzzy blanket on top the bed stretches and moans and then shrinks back up again as the slightly discernable form of a little boy slowly emerges, a leg, then an arm, where is his head? Oh there he is.  Often times I’ll lay down next to him, half wishing I could drift back off to sleep. “Time to wake up sweetie” Kisses on his forehead. I look at him and think my goodness; this is one handsome kid, my son.  After a few moments he leans in towards me for some morning snuggles. Ahhhh absolutely one of the best parts of my morning, my day, my life. Detailed breakfast requests are made as Hubby listens from the bedroom door way and then proceeds to make the standard. 1 waffle cut in 4 pieces and specifically arranged, each topped with whipped cream and some honey. Next it’s time to get those pull-ups off and get school clothes on all while under the blanket if at all possible. Early exposer to morning cold or bright lights brings about the grump fits we seek to avoid. (More on battle choosing coming soon)

Then the messy haired bright-eyed wonder that is our son emerges in to the world of the awake, with a smile, hugs and kisses. I tell him “Have a good day baby, and be a good boy” as I turn of the final alarm, informing me that it is 7am and time to go.  He walks me almost every morning to the door, never letting me forget to give his daddy hugs and kisses, and says as he stands in the door way, “Goodbye Mommy, I love you, I miss you, Have a good day” Daddy stands behind him, to assure he won’t run out to the street, as we exchange blown kisses before I drive off to work.

Now I get some me time, stuck in traffic, with my stereo blasting, on the way to work.

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